Category Archives: Observation

Her Inner Conflict

Note: Early morning when I went to buy milk, I saw little girls all around going around from one house to another. It wasn’t too late for me to realise what day it was. Just then I saw a small girl sitting in a stairway with a 10Rs note in her palms and her sitting in a wondering pose with both of her fists on her chin. That made me think of the alternate but true reality of our lifestyle and mentality of many people in our country. Here’s a piece from a little girl’s point of view.  

Where is your youngest one?
Isn’t she at home?
Can you please ask her to come to our house,
For the ritual around noon?

Oh yeah sure, here she is,
Taking bath and getting dressed!
Just a little crimson on her forehead,
And you can take her to your shed!

“Well isn’t she the most wanted by all today!”
Quoted one of the aunts.
“Well she’s the youngest Lakshmi you see”
A lady said along with her holy chants.

While all this was taking place around her,
The girl just sat and thought for long-
Weren’t these the same people,
Who wished I was never born?

Who came to my house,
Put the hand on my mothers womb,
“Don’t worry, It’ll be a son this time,
Finally happy will be your groom.”

Yes these are the same people,
Who suggested to get my identity checked,
Who told million ways,
To not allow me to take even a breath.

Not being able to bear such thoughts,
She ran out with crumbs of sweets in her palm,
Threw them into the bushes,
Went straight to her mother’s arms.

Her mother could understand her feelings,
Without her saying even a word,
Coz she was the only woman,
Who being a woman understood her worth.

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Pic credits- Image

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Types of Relationships

Originally answered on Quora.

Question- Can we actually categorise relationships as per psychology?
Question Link(Quora)

Answer-

Well, I am not a student of psychology or anything even close to that, but I do have some kind of theory about this and as per that I guess I can differentiate between different- different couples.

Type A-
In relationships of this kind the guy and girl love each other and are in a relationship of such kind that if even one of the two back out, the other one gets tormented. These kinds of couples have a lot of belief in their relationship and on their partner and either both or maybe one of them believe that his or her partner will eventually be his or her bride or groom.

couple01

Type B-
Type B is like a guy and a girl is in a relationship but are well aware that many a time interest in their partner does fade away with due time or we fed up of each other’s behaviour or not being able to give time to them. And in this case, both the people do know that one is a man and can start liking other girl and the other is a girl and can fall for any other guy. Now if such a case occurs that they do get separated, they do feel bad, but they move on eventually.

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Type C-
This type refers to those kinds of people who don’t indulge in love and all such matters but do understand the need of intimacy as they know it’s pure hormonal. These are those kinds who understand that satisfying hormonal need is temporary and it’s not there in them all the time. Such kinds of people are those who don’t get into relationship stuff but do have sexual relations of some kind. It’s not necessarily to be sexual, but it is somewhat intimate. Now these kinds of people are really like professionals and all. Many a time they do turn into type B, but if the person with whom they are getting intimate with is not of that sort who can develop feeling too, then they eventually have to move on.justsex

Type D-
These are those who don’t even care for intimacy. Most Indian girls fall into this category. They are those who do feel the need of intimacy and do get aroused and all, but they resist this feeling and don’t do anything about it. They wait for the right one to come. The one and only. And mostly that one and only is the one they will eventually marry.

dreamwedding

Type E-
The Asexuals. One who are completely out of intimate needs. They don’t feel a thing or need to have intimacy in their life at all. I believe many scientists, the one who never marry and all, fall into this one. They never feel the need of love. They are rare but they do exist.

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____________________________________________________________

That’s all that I’ve come across. I observe things and people around me. Everything that I just told isn’t written anywhere and I am not a student of psychology. It’s my own theory. It might be wrong as well. Do comment if anyone find anything odd and incorrect.

Reservation based on Economic Status

Originally asked and answered on Quora!

Question- Why can’t the Indian government have financial based reservation instead of caste based reservation?

Answer-

One simple reason- VOTES and the question which answer’s your question is that-

Who’s gonna take the fall?

As far as I know, Dr. B.R Ambedkar Ji introduced reservation in our constitution for the betterment of that section of our nation who had been marred with discrimination as per their caste or maybe religion. But he also stated that clearly that reservation would be discontinued after 10 years. Now the question arises that what would had happen if things would had gone as they were supposed to and why isn’t reservation still in practice?

What would have happened if the reservation was discontinued after 10 years as it was supposed to?

I am using a part of passage which published in Outlook on 2004-

Dalit representation in Indian politics would have been non-existent. The Dalits in most parts of the country are so scattered that they do not have a meaningful electoral strength. So, here, reservation of seats for Dalit candidates has served a purpose. Having said that, the cancellation of political reservation would have made no difference to the Dalit movement because Dalit politicians who have benefited from the reservation of constituencies have turned out to be puppets in the hands of parties like the Congress and the BJP. These parties exploit political reservation to increase their own seat count. The welfare of Dalits has been lost in political calculations. So if political reservations end today, it may not make a difference to the larger welfare of Dalits.

Well, I’d say that a point well put, but is it really? See I totally agree that reservation for a substantial amount of time was absolutely necessary and it still is and its

See I totally agree that reservation for a substantial amount of time was absolutely necessary and it still is and its fare enough that it still continues, but why is it still in continuation for the one who absolutely don’t need it or misusing it? And here I am referring to the Creamy Layers. I won’t say more on this or it could agitate some people for obvious reasons.

Why is reservation still in practise?

It needs to be, it should be and it’s okay if it is, but it still exist in a wrong manner. Everyone says that reservation should be for poor people only and it’s absolutely correct, but we are forgetting one basic point which another passage from the same article of outlook explains quite well-

The poor of India, assuming that it has been clearly defined, would have been a very large number. The struggle of the poor Dalits, poor because of the oppression they suffered for centuries, would have been lost. A diluted reservation is as good as having no reservation. And the youth might have made this point through violence.

Again a valid point. But in my belief, the ones who are well off should be kept out of it completely. I mean reservation is like a piece of candy now. Everyone wants it. The length to what people go nowadays is horrific. Take me for example- I am from Uttarakhand, I belong from a rural hilly region. Now, what if someday my community or rather I should say people from hills start asking for reservation? Yeah, aren’t we backward, which I am actually not and so aren’t many others like me, but what if we start revolting like this? Today Jat community is asking for it, what if next day people from the NorthEast start doing the same? And then the South Indians as per their ethnicity. I mean isn’t this ridiculous? What if Sikhs, Jains or Buddhists ask for their share in the cake saying they are in the minority too. Aren’t they?

This is just ridiculous. And why do politicians continue to support their people and religion and all? Well, we all know why and even though they know what this can lead to, the point they make is- Who’s gonna tie bell in the neck of the cat?

Source of the passages I took- What If Reservations Had Come To An End In 1957?

We All Ain’t Same

It was eight at night,
The night-crawlers were there to take over.
All looked so neat and clean like I did this morning.

The cab was already gone,
Had to reach home to celebrate the year end,
Couldn’t risk to be late.

Waiting outside for a ride,
A dame standing beside me, young and beautiful,
Gave an unforgettable smile.

From heavens just then dropped a green chariot,
Let’s share the fare to the metro said I,
She gave a nod in affirmation.

Reached the station,
Quick steps I took, not to waste a minute,
Eager my mother would be, waiting for me to reach home.

Lucky was I to get a spot free,
So I sat with my feeder feeding songs into me,
To pass the time in harmony.

But surprised was I to see her in front of me again,
Standing tall like she did earlier,
The young and beautiful dame.

Like a good gentleman I offered my seat,
She hesitated but took it eventually,
Happy in my heart I felt.

The station came and I stepped out,
The train was full, couldn’t see her from outside,
Didn’t get a chance to bid farewell.

With a heavy heart I came out,
Just then got a call from home,
Asked me to bring something sweet for dessert.

So many choices, not easy to pick any one,
So I chose something without seeing; asked to pack some.

As he packed, someone opened the door,
And walked right in the dame in the metro I was looking for.
I gave a surprising smile, to which she reacted little weird for a while.

She wasn’t that happy to see me as was I,
And same was her reaction as she passed me by,
Maybe she didn’t like my face after-all thought I.

I walked to my home, she wasn’t walking far ahead,
Kept on looking back, as if I was a wolf seeking her flesh.
I tried not to see her at all, didn’t want to give wrong impression.

I reached my doorstep, she saw me walking in,
That’s the last that I saw of her, a tragic journey it was.
Never to expect too much from now I swore.

The night was great
Had a great time, enjoyed a plenty,
Always fun, with family around.

Woke up quite late as a day off it was,
Washed my face and took a deep refreshing breath,
Came down, only to find a cop waiting for me!

Just another mind full of humor #2

Note- If you’re a person who gets pissed off easily on matters which aren’t even that appalling or if you are a kind whose feminism and chauvinism rise to the level where no one can bear to talk to you anymore, then I am politely asking…don’t read any further.

Do you like Tits?

What would your reaction be for such kind of question? Well if you’re a guy, most probably you’d say -“yeah absolutely”(just in case you’re interested in more masculine features only then maybe the answer could differ). If you’re a girl, then again the answer depends on your sexual orientation(lesbian alert). But why am I asking this… is that what you thinking? Well, coz someone else asked me that and I thought what if I ask it to everyone else. So here I am asking-“Do you like tits?

 

Well, now what was my response if you feel like knowing. So the point is, that well almost most of the times I am seen by my acquaintances as a person who just studies and does nothing else aka called Nerd. Though I am seriously not a Nerd. So one of my well known friend(a girl…the significance of why I specified it to be a girl will be quite clear in a moment) came to me while I was studying in library and said these beautiful four words terminated by a question mark- Do you like Tits? Maybe now you know why I mentioned that person being a girl coz it’s quite uncommon in India.

As commonly expected I said in a very perplexed manner- “Yeah? 😛That’s an obvious answer. But why you asking this…you like them too? 😳 Coz that would be something absolutely new.” With a poker face 😒 she replied-“Shut up… All day I see you here in this stupid library studying and doing nothing else. Don’t you have a life beyond the boundaries of this bookish world?”

“Girl don’t go off the track here. You were saying something about Tits.” I asked with a curious expression on my face, “So how are tits related to my studies and all?”

She said-“Why you all men are same? That was just an anonymous question that are you even interested in anything else than your bookish crap. Listening to your response, it seems you aren’t that nerd after all.”

“Girl, you’ve no idea how many tits I’ve touched my whole life, you can’t even guess.”

“Really? How many? Seeing at your current state… I bet not even a single one.”

“Well there were 26 cows in my farm and each cow have 4 tits, so it would be 104 tits in total. See…a century of tits”, and then I raised my pen in the air like a batsman does after scoring a century.


(See how happy a cow gets when someone milk her tits.)

That was all she could bear to listen and thus she left. Well, what other response a farmer could’ve possibly given? She talked about tits and I told her the truth. But I am still saying, I am not a nerd.

But hey talking about cows. You all know how sacred a cow is to all the Hindus in India right! Well, let’s not talk about the religious stuff here. So what I wanna tell is that I have a unique habit of manipulating languages that I know. I am no expert of any language but well that doesn’t affect my habit. For example, one of my friends once asked me that what kind of girlfriend do you wish for. I thought for a while and said- “an intellectual bimbo”. So now you can all guess why I am still single.(a 2 minute silence for those who didn’t understand this).

So well moving on…as I was saying that languages can be so so funny sometimes; given that you know more than one. Yeah so I was on my to the college and saw two cows standing erect in middle of the road like they usually like to stand, though I’ve no idea why they suddenly forget to walk in middle of the road. Anyway, so I have a hobby to talk to animals(it’s a really nice hobby let me tell ya), so while passing by them I said little out loud-“Hey Gais(cows)”. 

 

And just beside them on the other end of the road three girls were standing and they looked back and replied -“Oh Hi” ☺️. They were quite good looking, so a wave of hand was all I offered in response though they thought I was gonna say something more. So that turned out to be totally opposite. On the other hand, the cows didn’t even replied back, how rude right?

So if you ask that how come I came to find out this amazing similarity between languages…well it goes way back to my school days. I can still recall that day. Our school had recently won indoor cricket tournament trophy and the team was on the stage and were being praised and applauded in front of the whole assembly. Just then our principal came and said-“look at these guys and learn something from them.” As soon as he said ‘Guys’, a loud ‘Moo’ came from the house built at the back of our school. So that day I learned that even Cows are very educated creatures…well at least they know their name. 😂

Talking about these so funny similarities between names… well I saw something really interesting yesterday in my news feed on fb- 

Now imagine an Indian visiting Turkey and asking for a dish made of Turkey- “I’d like to have Turkish meatballs.” The waiter would get furious since he is himself Turkish and don’t know that you’re actually asking about the bird 👿. But he still replies keeping his calm- “Sir we don’t have Turkish meatballs, but we’ve Hindi meatball instead.” And well who knows if you’re a Hindu, you might take that as an offensive joke. Now just imagine I’ve not even talked about the scenarios in case of other countries. So languages can create such hilarious situations.

One more such instance which I can recall is when I was on a train to Coimbatore for my SSB. So many a times and in almost all the stations where a train stops, you will find vendors selling various kind of things, mostly eatables. Since speaking English or Hindi is not their forte, but they still try to speak ’em to sell their items. Though sometimes it results into some unique situations. Like, they usually say Khaina’ instead of usual Hindi word for food- Khana’. Now most of the times people traveling in these trains get a wrong impression and start looking for the person who they think is selling the commonly known tobacco product ‘Khaini’. So well that happened quite a few times while I was travelling.

 

And guess what I found in Google while searching for images of Khaini


So now we know what Brad Pitt is busy with nowadays.

Now coming back to my story of my travel to the southern India. When our train stopped in Tirupati I saw a kid carrying a basket full of Samosas. Since morning I had seen so many unusual things, that seeing a familiar face was like a delight to me. I called the boy and asked how much for one Samosa. He said something in Telugu or Tamil, now I’ve no idea in which language, but he said something. Okay, so all I could understand was dus ke teen and the word-‘Singdya’. Now to the people who don’t know, in Garhwali(since I am a Garhwali) Singdya term is used for a person whose nose is flowing all the time, I mean exactly like this little kid in this image-


I was like what did you just say to me? Singdya? Why would I buy Singdya? Just then a guy sitting beside me said-“Singdya is a local name for Samosa here”. So that’s how I learned that not just the languages, even the dialects have similarities with other languages.

Too long? So let’s finish this post with one more such funny instance related to language. What’s the first thing we are interested in knowing in a language about which we don’t know anything? Any idea? Come on… make a normal guess…it’s not that hard.

Well either it is how to say I love you, which I can guarantee I can say in 15 different languages including the most difficult one that I find to speak in i.e. Manipuri-“ei nang yamna nungshiye”. So now that I am so good in saying I Love You in Manipuri, all I need now is a cute Manipuri girl to say this to… right? Anyway, what’s the second one then? I’ll tell you, it’s cursing someone, yeah the slangs(gaaliyan). Right?

So now that’s not something which interests me in a language. I am more of a romantic person so learning to say I Love You in a language is something quite of an interest to me. But coming back to the incident.

So I was inside the Indian Naval Academy for my SSB and with me there were 62 other guys(men okay, not Gais again… to be really clear). So at night before taking a nap few of us decided to take a bath and well I thought it’s a great idea so I asked to join them as well. It took me a while to get my undergarments and reach the common bathroom. Others were already there laughing about something. I asked them what’s there to laugh, tell me as well. One of my batch-mate said-“Ai Poda Patti”. And they all started laughing again. After a while, one of the guys told me that it’s a slang. The guy who was actually saying it left just after that and me presuming that since he was Marathi so the slang would be in Marathi only, thought of having some fun and went back to my dorm and said it on the face of another guy-“Ai Poda Patti”. Okay before I explain what happened next, this slang is in Malayalam and the guy I said this to was a Malayali himself and adding to that he was 6’2” with a stout body. Now you can imagine what would had happened next. So next time before having some fun with another language, be really careful. And guess what, the meaning of Poda Patti is not that lovely even though it sounds so similar to Potty 💩.

So I hope you Gais enjoyed. And do comment and like if you really liked the post.

Just another mind full of humor #1

This is just a way I sometimes express what I am seeing around nowadays and what I observe, so if someone gets offended or instead like whatever I said- please do comment in the end!

So in past week I did upload two stories and got appreciation from many(I had to tag people to do that though… well pardon me for that, I am just starting). But yes I do received some critical comments and I truly appreciated those people as well. I had made thousands of mistakes and I am extremely thankful to those who still kept on reading till the end. And lastly I wanna thank few people who did help me in improving those errors. So moving on…

There are crazy things happening around me all the time and I just can’t wait to share that with everyone. For example yesterday when I was sitting in a bank filling out a form for changing my registered mobile number, I came across a section where they had asked my cell number. Well I really didn’t remember it that time so I thought to call a friend to tell me(yeah my own number!). But before I did try to find a way to get it, my cell rang. It was a credit card company trying to sell me one. Well I heard them real nicely and paid full attention, just to politely deny at the end with a question- Can you please tell me what my number is? So that’s one of those instances.

Another such instance happened this morning when I was washing my clothes. So the thing is that I live just beside the runway of an airport and it’s covered by a huge wall. Around those wall from inside are watch towers and there are CISF personnel above those towers keeping a watch. So the thing is that every morning about 10 they have a roll call through their Walky Talkys! So while washing my clothes I fortunately heard there roll call names out loud. And you know what the roll calls are- Papa 1, Papa 2 and like that there are 9 Papas. Well I just can’t imagine how that guy feels everyday calling so many guys his dad. And the other security guards in other lanes have some different ones of their own which as I heard included 7 Romeos, 8 Shaktimans and 6 Batmans(Well last two I just added on my own but sounds amazing as an option right?)

Another incident few weeks back happened when I was travelling to Gangotri with my relatives in our Scorpio. While asking me hundreds of questions about what I was doing in Delhi, a very interesting topic came into light. The question for debate was- a job with power and respect or one with money, which one is bigger deal? Well my maternal aunt gave an example in favor of the job with respect. She said that once there were two old men, both had one son each. One was in America working in a big company earning 5 lakhs a month and the other one was DM of a particular region here in India only. The father of DM said to the other old man that hey your kid earns so much, sure he is a bigger deal than my son and to that both agreed. Few months later the son of second old man came back to India. He had some paper work to be cleared by the Indian authorities so that he can bring his money to India and so he asked his father to talk to his friend whose kid was a DM to help in this matter. And so this old man did what he was asked. At this moment the first old man said that looks like his son was a bigger deal than the one in America. And again to this both agreed. After telling all this my aunt said that this is what power and respectful job can do and how bigger deal it is. She was quite satisfied with what she said and was feeling that she had put the final nail in the coffin. Well just then my younger uncle told his version of the same story. He said that after this the american guy goes back to America. Few months later the first old man whose son is DM, he gets sick. Turns out that he has a huge tumor in his lungs and nowhere in India is the cure for his illness. Well so his sons asks the other old man to ask his son in America to help him in this time of need. And thus with his money and approach, the son of the second old man saves the life of the first old man. And then my uncle said that- that’s how the whole story ends. Well we had a big laugh at the end.

My time here at home in this vacation was amazing. I qualified ACET and was really rejoiced about it. After really hard preparation for almost a month when I finally got free from my studies, I thought of meeting old friends. So first I went to one of my closest one’s house. We had a great chat and suddenly out of nowhere another old buddy joined us. Well we thought what if we all pals from school time gather together and have some snacks in a restaurant. So we all got in our bikes and went to other guys homes to bring them with us. What funny thing happened in all this was that when we were picking up one other guy from his house, we all parked our vehicles outside his house and went inside. I came in at last. All other guys when entered, they saw our friend’s mother and greeted her by saying Namaste and joining their hands as we Indians usually do. When I entered, I straight away went close to my friend’s mother and touched her feet and greeted her. Seeing that all the other guys felt little awkward and one of them without wasting a minute bent down and did same. And then there were series of such greetings from all the other 8 guys (well they kinda had to as one did). And I was like what the hell is happening here?

And this last funny one happened this morning when my brother came back from Delhi. As he reached he took out all the things from his pocket and straight away went in bathroom to freshen up. I was just sitting there drinking my coffee. Just then my father came out well dressed as he was on his way to work. My mother too came out of kitchen with a plate in one of her hands. She had brought breakfast for my father. Just then she saw a peculiar thing kept on the table(it was an iPhone with black body). She inquired- is this a phone? I nodded in affirmation. She examined it very closely and then showed it to my father by saying- See, it has screen on both of its sides! And then my father showed her that there was just one screen and the other side was the back one. But he then said- “well that’s not even the oddest part, the weird thing is that they have written Phone at it’s back. Like if they trying to tell us that this is a phone if you couldn’t realize in first guess. Haha, how stupid do they think people are?” And then I said- “Appa, you forgot to read the ‘i’. It’s written ‘ iPhone’, not just Phone.”

Well funny things happen around us all the time, what we just need to do is see and observe and then share for others to laugh as well. Well I think like that, really don’t know how others feel about it(after all I am clairvoyant but not a psychiatrist).

The Weekend Mail

It was summer and half of the Paata village was already empty of its male inhabitants. The war was on and almost every men was called upfront by the Gorkha Regiment. Vishambar the postman was one of the few men left in the village along with some of the retired folks. In the hills, mostly the men either get enrolled into Army or they move to the big cities to earn some livelihood. It was high time as Pakistan had infiltrated into Indian villages in Kashmir. Vishambar on his radio had recently heard that there might be a nuclear war between the two nations. Being a high school graduate, he did not know much about the gravity of the situation, but the way the news reader told the news, he could sense that it was something really big. But nothing of any sort mattered to him- people killing each other, men assaulting women, kids indulged in tobacco intakes or nations bombing each other. He was aloof from all this nuisance, or one can say he never bothered to care about such things. That’s one of the many reasons why he never got married. He was an orphan, brought up by his uncle. His uncle was the one who persuaded him to go to school and become something useful. He told him about the opportunities that lay ahead in future and what a boon it would be to be a literate. Even now he could never thank him enough for his advice. Even with his meagre job, he was content with it. He preferred to be a mail man sitting mostly in a government provided hut rather than either getting killed on the border or working in the stepped fields.

Vishambar in his youth worked in a hotel in the capital. He had seen the city life enough to get sickened of it. He never liked it there. Though his lifestyle was really influenced with whatever time he had spent in the city. When he got the job of a postman, he brought his radio along with him which he really enjoyed listening to. He even took a lot of pain in bringing his cycle with him to the village with the help of a local matador; though he later realized that it was of no use there in the hills. Now he just used the cycle when someone parceled something really big from the city, which had as bleak possibility of happening as snowing in June. He had a maid who did all the small chores for him which included preparing meal two times a day. His salary was well enough for him to have such luxuries. Reshma, his maid, was a local villager whose husband had died as a martyr on the border. To meet some ends and earn something to run her family, she worked errands in Vishambar’s little hut. In his 24 years of posting here in Paata, Reshma was there helping him for a decade now. For him she was like a little sister and that’s exactly how he treated her. He often lend her some money for courtesy. And she in return gave him pulses, onions and other things which she grew in her fields, which Vishambar usually send to his Uncle’s house.

Usually he just sat and did nothing because anyone hardly posted anything. Almost all the village people were illiterate and seldom would anyone go and ask Vishambar to write a letter to any relative. Mostly the newly wedded brides used to come to Vishambar to write a response to a letter from their husbands who were mostly posted at the border. And most of the times Vishambar only was the one reading them. The effect of matrimony takes its time to diminish itself from someone’s mind. The desire to hear a word or two from their husbands was what they all craved for. Whenever they passed through Vishambar’s hut, they always inquired if there was any mail.

But with war on head, the frequency of mails increased. After a long long time Vishambar had finally realized how nerve-wrenching his work was. He received two or three dozens of mails on a weekly basis now which were forwarded to him through headquarters in the capital. And distributing those mails was not the only thing he had to; he had to read them as well. And if felt necessary, he often had to sit in people’s porch to write the response and later post them. It became really difficult for him to do so much so sudden. He would’ve happily done all this if he were in his twenties or thirties. But it really was a tiring job for a person of his age, as he had to move up and down from house to house to give the mail and then read them as well. The best part though about all this was that he often received sweets and food items for bringing those mails. The villagers loved him and his work. After all he was like a messenger of God for them and Vishambar too liked this thought very much. Though bringing a sad news of someone’s death made him real sad as well. He couldn’t bear to see the newly wedded girls crying and their mothers often fainting and falling down. Seeing that Vishambar used to think that how unusual his job was. For some he was a little oasis in a desert whereas for some he was a sign of death. They all showed no sign of happiness or sadness on their faces until Vishambar start reading their letters. For them it was the day of judgement.

jaejoong___heaven__s_postman_by_knpro-d53n5b3

After finishing almost every household and sharing their mails with them, Vishambar used end his part of the job by visiting the last house which was situated at the end of the valley. There lived an old woman named Bachaspati Devi. She was in her eighties and anyone seeing her could tell that she was on the verge of leaving this planet for good. She had only one person alive as her kin, her grandson named Vijay. Her son and the daughter in law, both died a long long time ago in an accident. She was the one who brought up Vijay and made him what he was today. She was strictly against her grandson’s decision to enlist in the army as he was the only one left in the family, but who could change the mind of a hill-born adamant young kid who has decided to serve his country. Vijay often wrote letters to his grandmother and as usual Vishambar read them to her. She would grab Vishambar’s hand tightly as soon as he start to read. She used to be so happy to hear that letter that quite often she would ask Vishambar to read it twice or thrice. Vishambar never denied the old lady’s requests. He could understand the pain and feeling’s of that woman’s dreaded soul captured inside those little shackles of bones. Every week on Sundays when mails reached to Vishambar, this old lady would sit in her porch since afternoon and wait till the dusk when he finally reached her house. He often used to dine that particular day in old lady’s house. He would ask Reshma not to cook on Sunday nights.

It was the third weekend of the month of June and Vishambar’s pouch was yet again full with letters. Keeping his daily preparations short and having a very light breakfast, he commenced his journey from the first house on his way. On the judgment day, Vishambar hardly ate anything before leaving, he used to get a lot to eat in almost every house. So whole day after distributing and reading all the letters, Vishambar finally reached the old lady’s house. Every time she used to wait for him anxiously. Vishambar sat on the charpoy which was there in the porch and took out the last letter of the day from his pouch- sent by Vijay Singh. It was all usual for him as he tore the corner of the envelope and pulled out a white sheet. But this letter was somewhat unusual… he could sense that it was one of the unwanted ones, the one which made people to lose hope in their lives. As Vishamber unfolded it, he saw that it was typewritten instead of the usual handwritten; and Vishambar understood the rest of the story. It was such a sad moment. The old lady was sitting anxiously in front of him and waiting for him to speak and he thinking in his mind that in what way could he tell this woman this tormenting news, so that she wouldn’t just die listening to it. Vishambar couldn’t think of any way to do that without hurting her. He just couldn’t bear the fact of sharing something like that to this poor soul. She had no one except her grandson, who too was now deceased. He was in a really awkward situation and there was silence in the air for a long time, which was finally broken by the old lady.

She grasped his hand as she usually did and said- “Aren’t you able to understand what he has written?”

To that Vishambar gave the hardest fake smile he had ever given to anyone and said- “No amma, writing is ok, I am just reading it myself first.”

To which she said-“Just read it out loud, I will listen as well.”

By now Vishambar had made up his mind that he couldn’t dare tell her the truth that her only grandson is no more on this world. He wasn’t too weak to speak that but was too weak to see the old lady remorse and give up on her life. So he decided to make up words of his own and speak to her in the way Vijay usually wrote. And he read the whole letter framing words of his own. Lying to a kid is real easy, lying to a man is even easier than that but lying to a woman takes up a lot of convincing. But even their hearts melt in ignorance if it’s either about their lover or their loved ones. So the old lady as anxiously as she used to, heard those precise words coming out of Vishambar’s holy mouth. To his surprise she didn’t ask him to repeat it that day and then like always she started cleaning the corner where Vishambar usually sat to have his dinner. But Vishambar said he wasn’t hungry today and might have some complications with his stomach. He wanted to get out of the site of that pious woman. He wasn’t that much religious of a person but he was scared of the fact of lying to that old woman and was completely filled with anxiety that he was surely going to the hell made for people like him. The old woman tried to make him stay at her hut only and asked him to let her help, but he insisted on going back to his place. With long strides down the valley, and heart pumping in the very unusual way he reached his hut at around ten o’ clock. He straight away washed his face which was pale red by now. He emptied the pitcher of water in one go to calm himself and then he lay down on the mat beside his working table . He wanted to surrender himself to the goddess of sleep as soon as he could and wanted to forget all that had happened in the delusion of dreams.

It was a new day and Vishambar got up bit late from his usual schedule. Usually this day was his real weekend as on Sundays he worked whole day. He still had a faint glimmer of the deed he did last night in his mind. All day he tried to convince himself to believe in what he did was humanly the best thing he could do. If he had told the old lady the truth, her soul would have left her body by now. Moreover he thought that she was going to live just few months more and keeping in mind how long the last war lasted, he thought he made a good decision not to tell her. With this notion in his mind he felt little relieved. He now made himself clear that his intentions weren’t wrong and he did a great deed. Vishambar now prepared a letter of his own for the old lady every week. He often added some stuff which he believed would make her happy. And she really did like it. She rejoiced at the fact that her grandson is fighting gallantly in the war. Vishambar was really happy too of his decision. And this went on for few more weeks till the war ended.This time Pakistani army retreated back within 2 months of a fight. The Kargil was back in our control again.

But this win was more of a nightmare for Vishambar coz he realized that when the men will come back from the border and the old lady will see them coming, she would ask questions about her grandson’s whereabouts. It was time for Vishamber to tell her the harsh truth… even though she would be really heartbroken to hear that. So he wrote a last letter, the way the government usually send those for the martyrs. And he then went straight to the old lady’s house, there were no letters for anyone else that day as almost every man had reached back or were on their way back to home. As he approached the old lady’s house, he saw her coming out; she had a little rosy smile on her face, perhaps she had heard from the local folks that the war was over and the troops were coming back. The smile broke Vishamber’s heart; he was already feeling remorseful from inside for what he was about to do. As he reached her porch, he sat down in the charpoy. The old lady was busy washing some clothes which belonged to some man. She was probably cleaning the old clothes of her grandson. As soon as she saw him, she stood up and washed her hands and greeted him. He could see the excitement in her eyes, the energy which was running inside her.

She asked- “Vishamber ji! How come are you here today and that too at this time? Aren’t you busy distributing mails?”

Vishambar said- “I just received one mail today and it was for you Bachaspati ji.” And then he pulled out a mail from his pouch. As he was just about to read the letter, the old lady stopped him.

She said- “Vishambar ji, you must be tired of doing all this on your own, reading everyone’s letters. Let my grandson do it today. Even I wanna hear him speak after so long.”

And then say said out loud- “Vijay! Can you come out a bit beta?”

A tall handsome man with a fair complexion came out from the other room. Vishambar was shocked to see him. He couldn’t believe that it was the same guy who was mentioned as deceased in one of the letters few weeks back. He came directly towards him and touched his feet as he greeted him. Just then Bachaspati pulled out a Khaki out of the tub and gave a hard stroke at it and then put it on the wire to let it dry. And on that Khaki was a name written in a badge in bold letters- Vijay H. Singh.

The old lady said- “Vijay, take a look at the letter Vishambar ji just brought and read it out loud.”

And just then Vishambar stood up as soon as he could and said goodbye to the two and started walking back to his hut.

Vijay said to his grandmother- “Dadi ji what just happened? Why did he just go away like that without even showing us our letter?”

His grandma replied- “Maybe he brought an old one with him. Well he is getting old as well kid. We old ones often act crazy my dear.”