Note: Early morning when I went to buy milk, I saw little girls all around going around from one house to another. It wasn’t too late for me to realise what day it was. Just then I saw a small girl sitting in a stairway with a 10Rs note in her palms and her sitting in a wondering pose with both of her fists on her chin. That made me think of the alternate but true reality of our lifestyle and mentality of many people in our country. Here’s a piece from a little girl’s point of view.
Where is your youngest one?
Isn’t she at home?
Can you please ask her to come to our house,
For the ritual around noon?
Oh yeah sure, here she is,
Taking bath and getting dressed!
Just a little crimson on her forehead,
And you can take her to your shed!
“Well isn’t she the most wanted by all today!”
Quoted one of the aunts.
“Well she’s the youngest Lakshmi you see”
A lady said along with her holy chants.
While all this was taking place around her,
The girl just sat and thought for long-
Weren’t these the same people,
Who wished I was never born?
Who came to my house,
Put the hand on my mothers womb,
“Don’t worry, It’ll be a son this time,
Finally happy will be your groom.”
Yes these are the same people,
Who suggested to get my identity checked,
Who told million ways,
To not allow me to take even a breath.
Not being able to bear such thoughts,
She ran out with crumbs of sweets in her palm,
Threw them into the bushes,
Went straight to her mother’s arms.
Her mother could understand her feelings,
Without her saying even a word,
Coz she was the only woman,
Who being a woman understood her worth.
Pic credits- Image
I came to visit a dear friend’s grave,
I kept the rose in my hand down and waved,
“Hey dear friend, I heard how it ended,
It’s sad to hear, but I wish the issue could’ve been mended.”
Just then a weird feeling struck my heart,
It felt like a storm and I was about to depart,
Just then I lost my conscious and with an excruciating pain,
I called my dear friend LIFE to appear again.
Am I falling or am I flying,
Am I living or am I dying,
I asked life- “What’s this weird feeling inside?”
“You are lonely again my friend”- life replied.
No…it can’t be true,
She said it’s over but I am there for you,
“Oh come on! Such things consoles your heart for a while,
It seems you’ll be okay but it’s just for a while!”
I see… I understand the effect of this spell,
This happened to me once before as well,
“Oh yeah, there was another dame in your past,
Though she wasn’t anything like this lass.”
I know…I know…and that’s why it hurts,
But I’ll be okay like before, just a little worse.
“It’ll be alright… tomorrow is the big day(vday),
Go out and find a new one to play.”
What are you saying Mr. Life, love isn’t a game,
It is a sacred and beautiful feeling, not inane!
“Weren’t you two in love? Han? What happened to that part?
Just a little difference grew you two apart?”
It just ended and all that I can say to explain-
In an argument if both are right, then who would you call insane?
“Well, things like this are hard to mend,
So who won the fight, How did it end?”
Well my being alone, might be enough as an answer,
But can’t be sure of her, you can go and ask her.
“It’s alright… such things happen in my world quite often,
Hang in there… someone else’s heart for you will soften.”
Na, I’m done with this silly thing called love,
I was happy alone and love is six feet under shoved.
“Tough luck brother, it was nice to hear from you,
I should go and pick a rose for my love too(death)” ….Life Departs
Just then I saw a man with a flower with red hue,
And I smiled and left, remembering the things I had planned too,
At least my flower is on the grave of my beloved friend ‘love’,
To wither with the time and rest in peace above.
Originally answered on Quora.
Question- Can we actually categorise relationships as per psychology?
Well, I am not a student of psychology or anything even close to that, but I do have some kind of theory about this and as per that I guess I can differentiate between different- different couples.
In relationships of this kind the guy and girl love each other and are in a relationship of such kind that if even one of the two back out, the other one gets tormented. These kinds of couples have a lot of belief in their relationship and on their partner and either both or maybe one of them believe that his or her partner will eventually be his or her bride or groom.
Type B is like a guy and a girl is in a relationship but are well aware that many a time interest in their partner does fade away with due time or we fed up of each other’s behaviour or not being able to give time to them. And in this case, both the people do know that one is a man and can start liking other girl and the other is a girl and can fall for any other guy. Now if such a case occurs that they do get separated, they do feel bad, but they move on eventually.
This type refers to those kinds of people who don’t indulge in love and all such matters but do understand the need of intimacy as they know it’s pure hormonal. These are those kinds who understand that satisfying hormonal need is temporary and it’s not there in them all the time. Such kinds of people are those who don’t get into relationship stuff but do have sexual relations of some kind. It’s not necessarily to be sexual, but it is somewhat intimate. Now these kinds of people are really like professionals and all. Many a time they do turn into type B, but if the person with whom they are getting intimate with is not of that sort who can develop feeling too, then they eventually have to move on.
These are those who don’t even care for intimacy. Most Indian girls fall into this category. They are those who do feel the need of intimacy and do get aroused and all, but they resist this feeling and don’t do anything about it. They wait for the right one to come. The one and only. And mostly that one and only is the one they will eventually marry.
The Asexuals. One who are completely out of intimate needs. They don’t feel a thing or need to have intimacy in their life at all. I believe many scientists, the one who never marry and all, fall into this one. They never feel the need of love. They are rare but they do exist.
That’s all that I’ve come across. I observe things and people around me. Everything that I just told isn’t written anywhere and I am not a student of psychology. It’s my own theory. It might be wrong as well. Do comment if anyone find anything odd and incorrect.
1. It was her birthday. He finally gained the courage to talk to her and went outside her house to wish her.
After hesitating for a while, he finally rung the bell,
Someone answered- “Who are you boy, why you sweat, are you well?”
Off he cleaned the drops, the witness of worry from his face-
“I am your girl’s classmate, need to talk”– said he with grace.
2. He was told that she ain’t home. Gone out with some friends to the Donald’s.
With a withering rose that he had kept for years,
Off he went to her to do the thing he most feared.
There she was wearing the maroon sweater, smiling like a little mermaid,
Blowing warm air on her hands covered with gloves her mother had made.
3. He went close. She looked at him and gave a weird smile. He pulled out the Rose, folded in a velvet cloth.
“I’ve been meaning to give something which belongs to you”
“Whose each petal grew when you smiled and when you were sad it lost its hue.”
“But it stayed all along, to express the words he was meant to-
“That this guy who keeps me, is in love with you.”
4. She was silent in surprise, he could hear her heart pounding like a hammer on an anvil. She couldn’t close her eyes; how could she let this moment pass away. She feared it’ll all go away if she closed them.
“I can’t keep sitting on my knees milady”
“It feels quite cold down here”– said he.
She giggled and a tear came out of her eye.
Grabbed him from his arms and gave a peaceful sigh.
5. That hug was something he couldn’t forget. The moment he waited all his life was here. He tried to keep his eyes dry, but the wall of his manhood shattered into pieces with a drop in his eyes.
She looked at him as she had never looked at a man before,
And with her dusky red lips, she kissed where the drop poured.
And there it was on her lips like a drop of dew,
Just like that, she took his heart away he knew.
6. He gave her the withered rose which she hesitated to keep. She told him that he shouldn’t fall for her, for she was someone else’s to keep. “He never let me go off his arms and I am attached to him, I can’t leave. I’ll live with him maybe forever and will die with him too. So, my dear lover, you should give it to someone else who deserves you.”
Just likes that in a jiffy, his world turned into a dungeon of doom,
His heart stopped and he felt his end was near and soon.
His mouth choked, he couldn’t speak a word to her anymore,
He tried to keep his tears inside as they were before.
7. With a heavy heart, he left her there with her mates. For days he won’t speak to anyone, he was in despair. One moment he smiled remembering the kiss and in another he cried as insane. He had to live forever like this alone. She was the one he lived for and will die in her memory if he had to.
To keep his mind off her, he volunteered to join the troops in front,
Keeping his sadness inside and showering bullets was how his rage burnt.
One bright fine day, his eye caught a glimpse of a rose in the woods,
The haunting past came back; cover breached, hit by a bullet in his hoods.
8. That’s how a beautiful soul lost his soul. First at the hands of the one he loved and another for the one he lived. Before he died, he gave a piece a paper to his mate in the bunker and asked it to give to the one who look like no one else in his town.
The loyal friend brought the body home covered with the flag all over,
The site which made everyone cry over the great son and the lover.
He asked- “Was there anyone to whom he gave his heart?
Loved more than anyone else, seeing whom he couldn’t tell love and life apart?”
9. From back exclaimed a guy with a sigh- “She dropped few petals and he used to pick them up, but no one thought that he would ever make a wreath of those only to put it upon his grave. She is still here, she still remember him and she always will. And here she is…”
She came for the funeral, asked with a tear in her eye-
”What were the last words when my beloved friend said goodbye?”
And there in a letter addressed to her quoted he-
“I made this wreath for you, pardon to let it keep with me.”
10. She fell down on her knees and cried over the cold cadaver.
Everyone said- “Why didn’t she accept him, what was wrong with the guy?
He lived in your memory and with that, he finally died.”
She said- “I did love him and in his memory I have passed my near to end days.
But never thought he would perish before me and that too in this way.”
She had a disease which never let her go. And she never lied when she said that she was gonna live with it and die as well. But Alas, she never hoped that her denial will lead to his demise!
Seeing a girl sending you request on fb, a million things starts rolling on your mind-
“I hope she looks good and beautiful.”
“I hope she finds me interesting and would like to meet me.”
“Maybe she is the one who was supposed to come in my life.”
And who knows what comes in other men’s mind. Some of them think of it as completely different thing which basically they hope ends with sex. And yes that’s the truth. And as rightly said by Louis C.K–
And to some extent this is true. I can even say with more than 95% men this is absolutely true. Those 5% include those men who never even thought of sex and girls in their life. They are those who used to study like hell to get an admission to a college or in India that’s mostly referred to as IIT. Or it may include the one so religious kinds who have to treat girls as one who deviates your mind from holy path of God a.k.a. The Brahmcharis. Or maybe they’re just interested in guys…well that’s a type too if you didn’t know. 😝
You know as a guy who is kind of desperate to have a loving companion or maybe it’s just a hormonal desire for sometime, you won’t believe to what extent this hope of meeting “the one” can go. Sometimes he leaves whatever he is doing and start trying anyway he can get a girl. And what does he even needs a girl for? Just to have someone who cares? Or is it the sexual drive? I really can’t tell, I really can’t.
A request in Facebook was one example. I can give you thousands of more ridiculous ones. If you’re travelling in a bus and their is even one girl in your bus, you start thinking that how nice she actually is and if this between you and her works, will that be nice to be with her. Yeah…exactly…and I haven’t even started talking to that girl and you know what? You never infact talk to that girl, ever. So why is it so? Am I insane? No! Is it something every guy thinks? I am kinda gonna say Yes. And do girls feel the same way? I think they do.
Let me give you some more weird examples. In my college when I am in a competition, let’s say a Article Writing Competition and there are female volunteers and one of them is really cute. Just one time to gain her attention you ask for a page or pen or something and you start believing that I must made her think of me atleast. Yeah…that’s what you think. Now the question is…out of other 50 guys in that classroom, what’s so special about me? I don’t know, but it’s just an intuition. And this doesn’t end here, when you give your paper eventually and write your name and number on the top, you start thinking that atleast someone of the volunteer will find my article really nice and will call me or message me. Yeah…that’s how insane sometimes it gets, can you imagine? And guess what I did get a call, apparently I came 2nd.
So that’s the thing. And this phone number thing? Oh this is some crazy shit, believe me. Whenever I give my number anywhere, I start thinking that it will end up in a cute girl’s mobile and we will be chatting then and then a date and finally what?- Coitus. Simple! Yeah so that’s how much crazy one can get. And you wanna know why does that happen? It happens coz of the things you see around and start thinking that’s how it works and that’s how this happens all the time and will happen with you the same way. A friend of mine bought a laptop from Dell and few days later he was chatting with the receptionist of the shop from where he bought it. So wouldn’t I get a feeling that this thing does happen. A roommate of mine met a girl in a college competition and after three days they were making out in his room. So why wouldn’t my stupid mind think that that’s how it happens…that’s how the real magic happens.
Let’s take Tinder for example. I’ve been in it for maybe about a month now. I didn’t have any smartphone or anything before. So I basically joined it after seeing that how easily my friends or roommate get girls(mostly which is sexual thing). With same intuition I joined it to, to see if I can really meet my soulmate here- the one true love. So I start using it, checking every profile nicely and reading the bio too and when I finally find someone attractive, then a right swipe. And guess how many matches have I found till now? Just two and that too just coz they swiped everything right and I had swiped them too and thus it was a match. And guys aren’t any different. They do same with girls, they just swipe right on every girl irrespective of how they look. And well being so frustrated I eventually applied the same trick and yeah I got another match- a girl who had just 3 pics and they were of teddy bear and Selena Gomez. Now I thought to ask that how many guys would had actually liked her? So I asked how many matches does she have? She said 102. Yeah!!! Imagine that. – profile with no real pictures of her, getting 102 matches. So it does prove that most men are interested in the sex part and not actually dating. And I am specifically emphasising on the word most men…not all.
So this is the truth. Love is very often thought of intimacy and not anything else. But mark my words when I say often. I never said that’s the definition of love. But for most of the time, this beautiful line from When Harry Met Sally is bang on-
And why do a guy like me who try to be as genuine and loyal in getting a love of my life has to think this way as well and try these weird ways? Coz I see it happening around me and that’s what I start believing in.
Quite recently a girl asked this question on Quora that- Why do guys pefer not so good looking girl for sex but a beautiful one to marry?
Okay first of all, a really good question and secondly, the answer I way too simple. Coz for sex they don’t care about face and what matters is that 3 inch region(that’s how one of my friend calls it), and after marriage they have to show other people how beautiful is the girl they have. Isn’t that right?
Okay maybe I should end this, it’s way too long to read now. So here I am expressing my stupid rage on myself for becoming an a**hole lately like other men and would request other guys or girls mostly that choose your man properly. This world is full of weirdos, and they exist as both men and women too. Now I know if someone reads this, they can come up with various questions to ask, but well I am here…shoot.